It Came…Like an Epiphany
I know I said I wouldn’t be posting for a while, but I actually got a few hours break in my schedule. When I say I am EXHAUSTED that is an understatement. I am sooooooo looking forward to X-mas because I just need to sleep…it is currently snowing outside and some good sleep is definitely what I am about to get tonight. Anywho, that has nothing to do with this post. So, I was looking through some things in my room and came across a few items that reminded me of quite an interesting situation that happened about two months ago (I’m sure you guys remember my “Fool Me Once” posts lol). Looking at these items didn’t make me sad, mad, angry or anything of that nature, they actually made me smile. I realized that I have personally gained closure on the situation and have moved on. Although I was EXTREMELY hurt soon after all of the hoopla occurred, I became so entrenched in what I had going on in my own life that my focus was diverted to other things (and thank the Lord for that). Being told by someone you care a lot about that they never want to talk to you again is quite devastating, but I now realize that I have come to a point where I can appreciate the things that me and this person went through, enjoy the memories of all the good times, and turn the adversity that occurred during that time into life lessons.
I have no clue where we would be if we would have stayed in contact but as crazy as this sounds I think this person removing me from their life was one of the best things they ever did for me. Now, don’t take that the wrong way, this is DEFINITELY not a bash post, but now that I am emotionally removed from the situation I can clearly see the many “disconnects” that existed. Yet, I REFUSE to forget the good times, and boy were there plenty: 2-person house parties, sitting in hospital waiting rooms for broken toes and ingrown toe nails lol, countless hamburger helper nights, finding someone who appreciates watching the history channel as much as I do, E & J Cask & Creme and Disaronno…nuff said, near death experiences trying to work out to Billy Blanks DVD’s, playing my made up game of “You Betta Relax or Hit the Ceiling” lol, Strawberry Bday cake + the Dark Knight at the Imax=A Good Time,…I could go on and on. But, as much as I want to let the good times roll, I have to be real with myself in saying there were major ”conflicts of interest.” I am learning that when things don’t necessarily go my way or I don’t get out of a situation exactly what I wanted, that its ok. Things do happen for a reason and once you realize this and are able to take positive gains from the situation you will become comfortable with all that transpired. Only then will your resentment, anger, sadness, bitterness, insecurities, and disappointment disappear only to be replaced with confidence and self-esteem.
Do I still think about this person…OF COURSE….do I still love this person….OF COURSE….will they always have a place in my heart…OF COURSE….do I wish we were still in each other’s life ….NO, but I think we served a meaningful purpose in one another’s lives, our “season” just happens to be up. As much pain, stress, etc this situation put me through, I wouldn’t change it or take it back for the world. I learned what LOVE is and how great it can feel to have someone in your life that you TRULY care for and support; someone who you sincerely have their best interest at heart; when no one can hurt you more, and no one can make you happier. However, there’s AMAZING power available to those who can walk away and go on to new adventures; getting hurt is a part of life, but staying hurt after the pain is gone is a foolish choice. (Thanks RevRun)
~SoSaditty~
