Road Rage
Because I live in the city I only drive my car on the weekends which means I deal with the tortoises and hares on the road only two days out of the week. I must admit that besides my steel foot, I do have a slight case of road rage and will not hesitate to drop the F-, B-, MF-, MFB-, CDC-, OPP-, MLK-bombs (ok, I was joking with the last three lol)…yeah I know…foul foul language…definitely not lady-like but I am working on that really hard. I rarely use bad words, I am not even a supporter of “shut up” as I was never allowed to say it at home when growing up. But driving is one thing that will turn me into a sailor for a day.
There are a few instances that really irk me which I will describe below:
Case number UNO: Why is it that cars 1, 2, and 3 at an intersection to make a left turn take their merry little time getting around the corner knowing cars 10, 11, and 12’s fate rest on whether they fly like bats out of hell to make the light or mosey around the corner as if they are driving Miss Daisy. Now I am not asking you to blow your engine getting around the corner, but be mindful of those behind you we all have places to go and things to do. The more time they spend doing who knows what at the front of the line eats into the time I will need to make it. But noooooo…they care nothing about me…huffing and puffing in the back of the line as I bang on my steering wheel and yell “GET THE HELL ON”. And as always I get to the front of the line as the light turns yellow, I realize that if I gas it I can actually make the light, when I look to the right and see Mr. (Insert Name Here) County Police eyeing me with those “I know you betta not” eyes forcing me to burn my break pads away as I screech to a halt. This light is not worth a $100 ticket. Moving on.
Case number DOS: If you are anything like me, you put a lot faith into lighting engineers who are supposed to have the lights timed juuuuuuuuuusssst right so that my car butt will not get left out in the open to be stared down with the death stare as I am trying to pass through an intersection. Why is it that there is enough room for every car EXCEPT me when the light changes. As you approach the intersection the light changes to yellow but you say “what the heck, live-a-little”, you decide to go through hoping the light ahead will turn green quick enough for you to move forward so that those cars directly approaching you can pass. Then you realize, we haven’t moved..you look at the light for the other traffic and notice it will be turning green in T- 5…4…”come on ya’ll, really” you look to your left and right to see if you can move to another lane..ACCESS DENIED…no place to go buddy…its you against the world…3…”man, come on now…yall gone do me like this”…2…”da@mnit man, my butt is out”…1…0…The cars begin to come toward you..and what do you do…give the stiff neck…don’t even have enough will power to look left or right. Or if you really feel bad you could give this look (below…which probably won’t do you any good). All you can do is wait for the light to change and gain your pride back after you fully get through the intersection. Moving on.
Case number TRES: Now, I have never had this happen to me due to my steel foot, but I will tell you when I see it boy does it give me a laugh. So you are on the highway in one of the ”too fast to really be considered slow” lanes i.e. lane number 3 out of 4. So you realize that your lane has really slowed down for some reason compared to the other lanes. You can’t see too far ahead and because there is some traffic on the road it is not convenient for you to switch lanes at the moment. You continue driving and notice that all of the cars ahead of you are either switching to the left or right lane and then the “bottleneck” appears…a 1987 Ford Taurus. Poor thing is trying to fight the good fight and hold his own in lane 3. Pride is getting the best of him and he refuses to switch lanes, so what happens…THE SEAS PART. You know that all he sees in his rear-view mirror is a long line of cars splitting into the two lanes on either side of him. But that is just the beginning…what comes next you might ask…PUNISHMENT. The seas don’t part without consequence to the slow-poke who refuses to get in the slow lane for whatever reason. So instead of cars switching to the other lanes and going about their business, the snap right back in front of him with a jerk just to say “NOW TAKE THAT WITH YA SLOW A$$”. Slow-pokes are not allowed in the left two lanes, it is only for the movers and the shakers, everyone was not meant to be a fast driver, know yous place and play your position, even if it is driving Miss Daisy.
~SoSaditty~
LOL! GIrl I dealt with numero uno TODAY!!! I was trying my best to get home and I SWEAR the people at the front of the line acted like they weren’t just in my situation about 5-10 mins ago, when they were in the back of the line. I’m looking like “WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?” I mean for real! It seems like it took them a good minute before anyone even started to go through the light. If they only took into consideration how they were just feeling when they were 20 cars away from the light. I guess when they got to the front, their sense of urgency was not the same. OH WELL!!!!