There are some things that no matter how you look at it, you can only do one thing….shake your head. I am sure that you have seen the footage below by now, but for those who haven’t THIS is why we as a people are looked at the way we are by others. I am going to stop right there because if I keep typing this post could blow up into a whole dialogue about “my people.” My parents always told me, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it.” End of story.

~SoSaditty~

Alright guys, I have a confession to make. I CRACKED UNDER PRESSURE, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. When I started this blog I guess you could say it was more of a live journal of all the craziness that was happening to me at the time along with a few personal perspective posts added here and there. I really didn’t expect people to read it because I was never known to be a writer. I just wanted a place to call my own on the net and sosaditty.com filled that void for me. From the response I received the post were quite entertaining and I am very pleased that others discovered the silver lining to a few clouds in my life. However, on the flip side, you give a mouse a piece of cookie and they come back for milk.

I never put a timeline on my blog but I knew this was nothing I could (or necessarily wanted to) sustain for a long period of time. My early days of wanting a website started out as an online store, but I soon realized that would require a lot more time and money than I was able to contribute during that period in my life. I finally settled on a blog and had NO idea of what I would have to talk about. It just so happened that I set things up right after I moved into my DC apartment with the roommate and the material started to pour in lol. I guess it is a bittersweet feeling that I moved. I LOVE LOVE LOVE living on my own, but there are no funny stories to tell you guys about anymore. Now that things in my life are flowing a bit more smoothly (and boy am I grateful for that) I’m having a major case of writer’s block. I feel as though there is nothing going on in my life worth blogging about. Or could I just be lazy??

Oh, and lest not forget the pressure you guys sure love to pile on…”so when you gone…”well, I been checkin…” …awwww hush lol. It’s like singing in the shower; you have no qualms about belting out your fav DeBarge song (being certain to include all the high notes) until you realize Aunt Tessy ‘nem have been listening the whole time. Next thing you know, she puts you on the spot to sing at the family reunion and you what…CRACK UNDER PRESSURE. Ok, so maybe its not exactly like that, but you get my drift. 

In closing, (hehe, just wanted to say that. Did you ever use that line in school papers? Humgh I didn’t cause I knew all you guys were using it, which essentially made my paper better…ha) I will try to do better at blogging. I just have to find the right material to give you guys some good entertainment. Oh, I almost forgot. I have also started working out after work which means that I don’t get home until late and get quite schleepy early (workouts tend to do that too me). But either way, scouts honor I’m going to do better. Alrighty roo…tootles.

~SoSaditty~

I am not sure how many of you keep up with the latest news popping up on gossip sites and blogs everyday, but I am definitely one of those people and some recent comments made by a well-known rapper have more that a few people up in arms. Last week snippets of Slim Thug’s, a Texas rapper, interview with Vibe Magazine made it to the internet and caused quite a back-lash. Below is what he said. I will let you read it for yourself rather than attempt to summarize.

 “The way black people think in general is messed up. Both men and women need to change their way of thinking. It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her⎯ he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain’t fucking with him. If that’s what you’re here for then I don’t want to be with you. 

 Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can’t just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us.

I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be fucking with me about it saying, “Y’all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other shit.”

My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it. She just takes care of me and I like that. She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy ass shit. And she’s a smart girl too. She graduated from Columbia [University] and I like that about her so it’s cool. I’ve dated girls that will buy a $3,000 bag and don’t know how to pay it off on their credit cards. They walk around in these Louis Vuittons and red bottoms but they’re riding around in raggedy cars, so it’s just getting your priorities right.

White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that shit. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I’m fucking with you, you gotta buy me this and that. Black men are the ones that motherfuckers need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too. A Black man who gets a little bread will go make it rain in the club and be broke the next day or instead of him going to invest in a business he gonna go buy new jewelry or a new car and still live in the hood. Black peoples’ mentality is real fucked up in general [and] it’s affecting everything.

Black women need to be more genuine and be more 50/50 [but] It should be a fair exchange in a relationship period or eventually somebody is gonna feel like they’re getting fucked over whether it’s the woman or the man. I think that will help Black relationships out a lot.”

 Source: :http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more

 ~SoSaditty~ 

Marc Lamont Hill wrote an open letter in response to Slim Thug’s comments about black women in his Vibe Magazine interview. Marc Lamont Hill is an Associate Professor of Education at Teachers University. In 2005, Ebony Magazine named him one of America’s top 30 Black leaders under 30 years old. Trained as an anthropologist of education, Dr. Hill holds a Ph.D. (with distinction) from the University of Pennsylvania and had this to say to Slim Thug:

“Slim,
A few days ago, you made comments in Vibe magazine that have caused a great deal of controversy. While I appreciate your willingness to offer your opinion in public, you made several statements that were not only unfair and untrue, but deeply damaging to our community. Normally, I would reach out to you privately, but since your comments were made in a very public place, I feel compelled to respond in the same manner. 

As an artist who is respected by millions of fans, particularly young ones, I found your comments to be hurtful and irresponsible. For good or for bad, our children follow the lead of you and other artists for everything from fashion and slang to self-esteem, body image and relationships. Imagine how a young black girl feels to hear from you, her role model, that her “standards are too high” and that she should “bow down” and “settle for less.” Consider the pain that our beautiful brown skinned babies feel when Yung Berg says he doesn’t date “dark butts.” Think about the self-esteem of our community when Nelly refers to our mothers, sisters, and daughters as ‘Tip Drills.’

As celebrities, your public comments are not just your own. Instead they influence the choices, beliefs, and lives of an entire generation of young people who look to you for direction. Of course, you have every right to say things that you think are true. The problem, however, is that there was very little truth in your comments.

In your interview, you talk about how much better white women treat their partners than black women. If what you’re saying is true, why do Whites have the highest divorce rate of any group? Do white men get tired of being treated like kings? In reality, it seems that you are buying into (and selling) a stale but dangerous ideal that constructs White women as ultra-feminine, loving, queens, and Black women as angry, selfish, and untrustworthy hoes.

Even more disturbing was your comment that “Black women gotta start being down for their man more.” Since slavery, Black women have had to withstand rape, torture, and humiliation (from both white and black men) in order to sustain their families. Now, in 2010, 1 in 3 Black men between 20 and 29 years old are incarcerated or otherwise under criminal supervision. Every day, Black women are raising children without men in the house, working multiple jobs (for less pay!), and supporting brothers as they finish their prison bids.

With Black male unemployment as high as 50 percent in some cities, sisters are often holding down households without child support or other financial assistance. Black female incarceration rates are skyrocketing, partly because Black women are “riding” for their men, hiding guns and drugs, operating as mules, and refusing to snitch to authorities. In addition, Black women are the group most likely to be victims of domestic violence and the least likely to be married. Still, in spite of all this bad news, Black women are less likely to date outside their race than Black men. How much more “down” do you want Black women to be?

I agree with you that both brothers and sisters have work to do. Over the last year, we’ve seen countless TV shows, movies, and bestselling books telling Black women how broken they are, how ugly they are, why they don’t have a man, and how they need to behave. Instead of adding to this pile of pain and ignorance, I would encourage you to turn the mirror on yourself. How does the image of the pimp/player/baller/dopeboy promoted in your music help to create the “gold diggers” that you badmouth in your interviews? How might your own admitted failures at monogamy undermine the type of loyalty that you find missing in Black women? Criticizing the vulnerable is easy. Working on yourself is the difficult part.

I hope you don’t take this letter as an attack, but as an act of concern and love from one brother to another. Through your fame and wealth, you have tremendous power. You can use it to hurt or to heal, to injure or to inspire.

The world is watching. What will you do?
Your Brother,
Marc Lamont Hill”

Source: http://www.marclamonthill.com/

~SoSaditty~

The organization WEEN (Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network), also wrote an open letter in response to Slim Thugs interview with Vibe Magazine.

“It has pained us to witness the negative portrayal that has taken place with respect to Black women over the last decade. However, the most recent national dialogue, disrespect and generalizations that have permeated our culture and mainstream media have especially stung because they were directed to us, in this instance, by our own brothers.

In our culture, and in all cultures, it is no secret that some of those characterizations do exist. The claim that Black women, at times, can be unsupportive, difficult and impossible to please may be the case for some. However, it is unfortunate that some of you have not yet encountered the overwhelming majority of us that are driven, brilliant, successful and completely capable of being our own provider.

These women are shrewd, and yes, do maintain high standards for how they would like to be treated. This is not out of conceit, however, but is instead a necessary act of self-love and self preservation. Forced to compete in a male dominated world, and in many cases, occupations, these same women reserve their tenderness for those most special to them and are more than willing to stand by the ones they love. For this reason, “being down for [their] man” as some suggest, is simply par for the course.

Almost daily, whether through the media, our colleagues at work or just in our neighborhoods, Black women are told they are not good enough. Yet, we are the backbone of the Black family, raise strong Black men and hold our men down when no one else would. You see, Black women are and will continue to be the most loyal, faithful and loving people on the planet. The only difference is that we will no longer tolerate disrespect, unreasonable double-standards and a relationship that is not based in reciprocity. The same unconditional love and show of care that you seek in us…we also seek in you.

These negative views of some Black women have fed into the stereotypes of Black women as a whole and have left us to consistently battle….alone. Black men, your comments play a deeper role in the perpetuation of systemic and internalized racism and sexism that already exists. Your statements extend power to these negative images. The problem with generalizations is that the moment we invest in them we stop being hopeful, we stop being open, and we stop growing.

While we certainly recognize with no doubt that not all Black men feel this way, we are asking that for those who do, that you think before you speak again about Black women. We represent your mothers, your sisters and your daughters. We are the product of a long lifeline of Black women that poured every ounce of their lives into making you the successful men you have become. We are your partner, not your adversary and our wish is for us to repair the communication, respect and trust that has been broken.

We love you unconditionally, behind closed doors and in public. Let’s begin the rebuilding process for our sons, our daughters and future generations to come.”

Source: http://weenonline.org/blog-article.php?id=52

~SoSaditty~

Ok, so my friend sent this to me and it was quite funny so I decided that I would share it with you guys. So here goes:

1) FINE - This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) FIVE MINUTES - If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minues if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) NOTHING – This is the calm before the storm. This means someting, and you should be on your toes. Arugments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) GO AHEAD - This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) LOUD SIGH - This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) THAT’S OKAY - This is one of the most dangerous statements a wmoan can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) THANKS - A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome,’ that will bring on ‘whatever’).

8 ) WHATEVER – Is a woman’s way of saying F— YOU!

9) DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GO T IT! - Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

~SoSaditty~

So, I have written about this topic a time or two already. It seems to rear its ugly head at least once a year (or every six months) depending on how things are going at the job. But I am at a time AGAIN where I am trying to figure out what the heck I want to do. I have taken the Myers Briggs personality test and have learned that I am an ISTJ to the T. It would be like Diddy trying to deny Justin if I said I were any other type of personality according to this test…it just wouldn’t be believable.

I do know that these tests are just a vague road map to what type of personality people have and that there are several routes to get to the same destination. Although you may fit a specific type does not mean you don’t have traits of others (which is good to know). So I read about love, children, relationships, etc and then come upon career. If I had one word to describe what I read it would be BORING. But maybe I am a boring person…and to be honest…I am. I am a person that is content with the little things, contrary to popular belief. I HATE being the center of attention and don’t have to be on the scene all the time. My little humble abode provides much satisfaction for me in my spare time, which is both a good and bad thing. I can become a home body and have to yank myself out of the house at times. But, I digressed..the point is I know that I can be boring but does that mean I have to have a boring career. This is the list of career options best suited for an ISTJ…    

*YAWN* I mean I will take it as a compliment because most of these careers are chosen by dedicated, smart, and determined individuals. But do all smart people have to be dag-gone accountants..sheesh. I would prefer CIA agent, private investigator to the rich and famous, Secretary of Intelligence to the President, etc (notice a pattern…I NEED THE GOODS..INFO GOODS..I LOVE MY JUICE IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW..AND STAY PARCHED). I’m sure those things get two yawns from you guys. But they sound quite intriguing to me. I know I do not have the personality to be an artists of any sort..but what about a Publicist, Interior Designer, Event Planner..and how could I forget a Psychologist (which I wish I would have majored in rather than business…still kicking myself in the arse for that one).

Jumping ahead what if I did become a CIA Agent. Would that satisfy me enough to stick with it for 20+ years like the many generations before us have done with their jobs. Hmmm…? My co-worker’s have a hard time staying 2 years let alone 20. We yougin’s aren’t built like that anymore. We are spoiled and want any and everything ASAP. IT’S A NEW DAY PEOPLE…THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED..lol. Sorry..my alter ego Sister Panther Shakur came out. I’ve returned from the 60’s…my bad. But I just feel antsy. Like there are so many things I would LOVE to do but don’t have the time and ESPECIALLY the money. I would love to go back to school..but AINT HAPPENING. I don’t do loans nor can I pull myself to write 50 essays or study 90 hrs/week for a test. Especially not when I have a job where I already work 40-80hrs on any given week. Can’t do it…won’t do it. But my search for new endeavors has officially begun. And by now you should know that when I set my mind to something…IT SHALL COME TO FRUITION. ASALAMALAKUM!!!

~SoSaditty~

Well, I’m back…AND I GOTTA A BAAAAAD ATTITUDE…lol…j/p. Let me start off by saying that you guys definitely got lucky for the next year. I was actually going to stop blogging and remove the site because I was having MAJOR writer’s block. However, one day I logged into my bank account and see a -$12 balance. Of course my mind starting racing and my heart starting pounding because I know how much money I have in all of my accounts at all times, at least I thought. So I clicked this particular account for further information to see what caused me to overdraft. Whadayaknow…Blue Host (my hosting site) withdrew $130 for the renewal of SoSaditty.com. [NOTE #1: Yes this site costs money. So you guys better read EVERY single post I put up because I am paying for you to read them. NOTE #2: In case your mind my be inquiring about why I do not have $130 in my account here is the explanation lol: This site is recreational right...right. So I have a recreational account for all things…well, recreational. The money is automatically transferred to this account when I am paid every two weeks as my “play” money. Seems as though I had done my fair share of playing that month and mind you I was unaware that this thing is automatically renewed. But I wasn’t too disappointed. I took it as a sign that maybe I should keep blogging for another year. Oh..P.S. I was able to transfer the money immediately from another account before the bank picked up on it and charged me an over draft fee…can we say SCORE...and SCREW YOU BIG BANKS!!..anywho]

So, that explains why you are stuck with me for another year. I will re-evaluate whether or not we will be in business during 2011but at the moment that’s neither here nor there (boy I love that saying, makes me laugh every time I use it). The monkey (ya’ll lol) can officially dismount from my back for a while sheesh. Now get’sta reading.

Disclaimer: This video is vulgar at times so if you can’t stand the heat GET OUT THE KITCHEN. For all others…ENJOY! I did .

 ~SoSaditty~